Am I really alive? I don’t mean the mundane medical defintion of the world I mean am I REALLY alive? Can one really be alive when all they feel is emptiness inside? When all I feel is a coldness that has nothing to do with the temperature. But if I’m not alive then what am I? Could it be that this is all just some terrible dream? That one day I’m going to wake up and this so called life will no longer exist? There are those in my life who do upon occasion make me feel that elusive spark of vitality and for that they have my profound thanks, but sadly it’s not enough.

My mind is my shelter, my refuge, my sanctuary. When the problems of the world become to much to bear I retreat inwards. In my mind I am my own master, I owe nothing to any one. Perhaps then I am alive only in myself, it is within myself that I find some semblance of peace and fleeting happiness. But rare is the person who can be truly content with abject solitude, so what am I to do? For now all I can do is wait and hope that should an opportunity present itself, I have the courage to seize it.

One final word should any of my intimates read this, your kindness and efforts are greatly appreciated, without them I truly would be lost.

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Tags: alive, Death, exist, existance, Life

This entry was posted on Saturday, January 26th, 2008 at 11:18 pm and is filed under Life And Death. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.